Posted by Josh Korwin in toyland | Comments

Someone in Japan thought this was OK

…as a children’s toy.

Posted by celiapleete in crafts, holidaze | Comments

Folkloric Leprechaun.

He’d once been blessed with the “gift of the gab,” until one night the little bastard stole Lucky Charms from the wrong banshee and found himself with his mouth ripped off his head for-freakin’-EVER.

Posted by celiapleete in crafts, poppets | Comments

Bee Mine.

Priscilla and little Madison entered themselves in the Rocky Hills Mall Moms N’ Girls pageant, and won third place that year (to a standing ovation) for their punny homemade puff-paint shirts. The other two contestants clapped with forced pride.

Posted by celiapleete in I'm 12 years old and what is this?, toyland | Comments

Playing House.

Suddenly Tabitha was overcome with a swarm of jealousy over the attention her boyfriend started paying to Miss Fancy Nancy’s shapely gams.

Posted by celiapleete in crafts, toyland | Comments

Southern Helle.

“I can be restored to the Union, but by god, I won’t be reconstructed into it as a toilet paper holder.”

Posted by celiapleete in crafts | Comments

Sad Lot.

The situation turned into the worst mass suicide of yarn dolls in the history of 346 W. Maple Street. The note read, in the scrawl of a child, in green crayon:

We did this to protest our unfortunate lot as wimsikal(sic) dekorations(sic) for a goddamn trash can. We hope your(sic) happy, now you’ll have to use this very vessul(sic) to despose(sic) of the greatest yarn dolls you ever crafted. Goodbye, crule(sic) world!