The Mad Vortex » adverts

Interior Decoration.

celiapleete — Mon, 28 Feb 2011 16:43:56 +0000

“Oh hey, I’m glad you made it to my housewarming party. I see your looks of confusion, and yes, it IS an unconventional home in this vast, barren vortex. But I’ve got my twisted mattress spacechair, and that’s all I need. So pull yourself a carpet square off the pile and let’s talk random swirls of grey canvas.”

So Many Times In Danger!

celiapleete — Mon, 28 Feb 2011 16:38:01 +0000

Hot lesbian germ-swapping!

Large Cup Size

Josh Korwin — Tue, 25 Jan 2011 19:53:25 +0000

I don’t even know…

The Thing You Need For Daintiness.

celiapleete — Wed, 19 Jan 2011 22:51:20 +0000

Sometimes advertising just got so euphemistic that you had no idea what the fuck any of it even meant. Or what you were supposed to do, or where you were supposed to put things. Or what it was even for.

Let’s break this down. You want to be dainty and hygienic. This will make you confident about yourself, ergo attractive. But you need to get this information from a nurse, and then you get this crazy syringe that you don’t know anything about except that it’s rubber, and it comes in a fancy case.

I’m guessing this is for a douche, but it could just as well be for shooting smack up your womanhood.

They’re New, And They’re News!

celiapleete — Mon, 17 Jan 2011 19:03:28 +0000

TV Panties…all of them granny-style. You can’t beat that breathable rayon.

Things You Hide From Your Mother.

celiapleete — Sat, 15 Jan 2011 21:28:47 +0000

You’ll Want To Read This Ad Again!

celiapleete — Tue, 23 Nov 2010 17:48:58 +0000

Perhaps.

Love Serum

celiapleete — Thu, 28 Oct 2010 17:36:42 +0000

Who knew corn syrup made people so damn frisky?

(Thanks to Julie for the pic!)

Ostrich Feathers.

celiapleete — Wed, 27 Oct 2010 17:23:02 +0000

Honey, I Have Something To Tell You…

celiapleete — Tue, 19 Oct 2010 17:25:19 +0000

“Gawd, your pits stink like rotten onions.”