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Just Bask In The Glory Of Greenscreen.

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Snowflakes Are Angel Kisses.

Unless the angel hangs herself.

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A Sad Day In Christmas.

We wondered what that fetid stench was, emanating from that old fireplace.

A few weeks later, we pulled out the mummified body of “that jolly old elf,’ who apparently missed out on our home’s updated blueprints.

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Who The Hell Do You Think You Are?

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Trees To Meet You.

Not satisfied with toilet papering the entire neighborhood’s trees that Halloween, Sara took Mischief Night forward that year and stole everyone’s Christmas decorations. She was daring to do so in broad daylight, but “that’s part of the fun,” she said flippantly, puffing on another Kool.

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Trick Or Treat

The Dithers Children (Matt, Debbie, Len and “Buzz”) had great designs on cramming their throats full of Sky Bars and Necco Wafers, only to be disappointed in the razorblade apples that Old Man Witherspoon gave them instead. Luckily, “Buzz” had already started shaving at 6 years old due to a hormonal flux from his chewable vitamins, so the night wasn’t a total loss.