The Mad Vortex » People

Comfort

celiapleete — Thu, 09 Sep 2010 18:28:34 +0000

“Don’t worry, Ricky. Stop playing that sad song on the concertina. When the governess isn’t looking, I swear most honorably that I’ll let you wear my ruffliest dress again.”

The Fanciest Brother

celiapleete — Thu, 09 Sep 2010 18:05:04 +0000

It was an epic choice. Who, indeed, was the Fanciest Brother? Was it Wilford in the middle, with his rakishly left-tilted bowler? Was it Edgar on the left, with his nonchalant pocket stance? Or was it Clifford, the brother with the trick knee? After much deliberation and nail-biting, no one could make a single decision.

Makes Children As Fat As Pigs.

celiapleete — Wed, 01 Sep 2010 19:42:35 +0000

…so does a sedentary lifestyle and processed foods!

Separated at Birth?

celiapleete — Mon, 30 Aug 2010 16:03:46 +0000

Dead Or Alive’s resident tranny Peter Burns…and the “Pirate Nun,” EWTN’s Mother Angelica?

The Hunted Child.

celiapleete — Tue, 03 Aug 2010 17:14:32 +0000

His mother and father would not play with him.

No one wanted to play with him.

He wet the bed.

He wet his pants.

There were boogers in his hair.

He talked a lot about uncomfortable things.

There was a reason why his father and mother kept him a home prisoner.

Single Girls Can Wear Tampons

celiapleete — Tue, 03 Aug 2010 17:06:44 +0000

…Unless there is a bounty on your maidenhead.

A Rip-Roarin’ Visit.

celiapleete — Tue, 03 Aug 2010 17:02:59 +0000

“Dear Hank and Ethel, Having a swell time here. Lester had a rare t-bone. I et a nice flank steak, was o.k. Coleslaw to die for. Caught glimpse of man who looks uncannily like Cornell Wilde. Can’t wait to tell you all about our trip to Omaha when we get back to sleepy ol’ Cleveland. Say hi to the kids.”

Oregon Trail

celiapleete — Tue, 03 Aug 2010 16:49:56 +0000

If you grew up with computer labs in the 1980s-early 1990s, you’ll get this. But even if you didn’t, it’s still freaking funny.

Weigh-In.

celiapleete — Thu, 29 Jul 2010 20:16:36 +0000

“Yes, that’s lovely, Mr. Wright. Just throw her in some of that nice pineapple marinade your wife made, and wrap her up in butcher’s paper.”

Gallery Of Ladies Demonstrating How Joyful Roman Catholicism Is!

celiapleete — Thu, 29 Jul 2010 20:03:23 +0000

Sad dead nun ghost on TV!

Sad lady named Robinne with a spiky necklace!

Sad kid called Charité in front of a bunch of burning sacred hearts!

Sad lady in a veil with a bunch of sad-looking kids running away from something sad!

Sad French lady with a crucifix and something in French I can’t properly translate, which is sad!