Posted by celiapleete in genepool, in the closet | Comments

Triple Down.

The Drummond men were notoriously the strong, silent types.

When Grandpa Drummond broke his foot falling off his horse, Muffin, he got up, walked twelve miles, and wrapped up the swollen member in torn rags from the shed. He was up and at ‘em in two days.

When Pa Drummond had a massive head wound following a wayward shotgun shell, he summoned up the energy to walk twenty miles to Doc Finnegan’s and slur out what had happened. He was back to work within the week.

But Melvin Drummond had trumped them all, by not mentioning a word about his self-induced sex change operation with some rubbing alcohol and a pair of hedgeclippers.

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Disappointment.

Ralph had HAD it at LAST.
Months and months of shopping his new Denzel-inspired comedy – something that was sort of a cross between “The Jeffersons” and “Robocop”, with a little “Annie Hall” thrown in for good measure – well, it was going nowhere among the executives and he was tired of rejection slips.
PLUNK went the unappreciated script into the garbage. It didn’t matter anymore. The world would never know of Ralph’s Shakespearean mastery of Ebonics, except a hungry pigeon looking for a pizza crust.

Posted by celiapleete in Home Cooking, genepool | Comments

Hunch

Loretta might have had rickets, but she sure knew how to put together a small but ample supply of aperitifs.

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Untold Secrets.

(Between you and me, they preferred “whalebone” for their safe word.)

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Bicycle Race.

At first it seemed like a swell idea: Ethel, Mildred and Agnes would race down Death’s Hill in their rickety yet solidly built Raleighs, and the winner would get to go out with Milton McBride (the village muscle man). Sadly, Death’s Hill earned its name for the eighth, ninth and tenth times that decade, and then…Milton came out of the closet.

Posted by celiapleete in I'm 12 years old and what is this?, genepool, poppets | Comments

Wedded Bliss.

Her father was so anxious to marry off Lizzie, that he had her dowry together by age six, and wedded to Archibald “Scooter” Maguire, heir of the Maguire Lumber Company, by age eight. You might say that Mr. Walton was an extremely efficient businessman, but by the time they had figured out how to consummate the marriage, they’d been married four years already, making the contract null and void.