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They Blinded Me With Science

“You want me to put that WHERE?!? I don’t care WHAT you mean about that ‘DNA’ thing, you’re talking about privacy invasion!!!”

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Beatnik Photography

To be quite honest, it’s not so much the picture as its caption that makes this image so bloody compelling!

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Baby, I’m-A Want You, Baby I’m-A-Eat Y...

As Helga and Svetlana eyed the tasty bread, Olga prayed fervently that they wouldn’t discover her (quite literal) dirty secret…rats had gotten into the flour stash, and it was riddled with roaches.

Not that it mattered anyway, for in Helga and Svetlana’s part of the country, roaches were considered delicacies and rats a sign of good luck.

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"Nobody Here Knows I Was Brought Up In An Asy...

Yes they do, Jerusha. Or “Judy,” as you call yourself.
They’re all laughing about it, too.

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Kitchen-Aid Sausage Stuffer: A Mini-Mystery

Ellen Griffith was a loving wife, a devoted mother, the church secretary, PTA president and Betty Crocker Baking Award Recipient of 1958. One day, Ellen’s husband George mysteriously disappeared.
The police chief of Maple Acres (their hometown, pop. 3202) puzzled over the remaining clues behind George’s disappearance. There was the lipstick (“Cherry Tornado,” perhaps?) on his collar, the lingering smell of Estée Lauder Youth Dew and gunpowder on his blazer, and that phone number in the beautiful handwriting.
All circumstantial evidence – after all, George never went away on “business trips,” and the only bar in town didn’t have “those kind of people.” No, George politely ran the local shoe store with his loyal and buxom clerkgirl, Gladys.

The police never found George’s body, but after 6 months the coroner declared him officially dead.

George’s memorial service was beautiful and emotional. Gladys gave the eulogy in a clingy red gown and veil, and Ellen found wealth from George’s life insurance – and not long afterward, a new boyfriend named Glenn.

Some months later, the police chief reflected fondly upon the delicious sausage Ellen had made herself especially for George’s memorial, and wondered what her secret ingredient was.