The Mad Vortex » I’m 12 years old and what is this?

We Endorse Mr. McMillan For NY Governor.

celiapleete — Tue, 19 Oct 2010 17:05:03 +0000

The rent IS too damn high.

Waist Not, Want Not.

celiapleete — Mon, 18 Oct 2010 16:08:50 +0000

…And that Town was known best for a slimy hotel joint known as “The Swap Shop.”

Donkey Spells

celiapleete — Sat, 16 Oct 2010 00:11:17 +0000

Little Nicky was disappointed, and with good reason. When Aunt Louise asked if he wanted to “ride that ass,” he had an entirely different idea.

A Class Act.

celiapleete — Thu, 14 Oct 2010 18:04:34 +0000

Class of 1926: Hugh “Grand Wizard” Van Aernam

celiapleete — Wed, 13 Oct 2010 18:19:57 +0000

A KKK member AND a cowboy, hoping to enter the Eastern Penitentary?

Ladies and Gentlemen, meet your new GOP Tea Party Candidate!

Some Sound Advice.

celiapleete — Tue, 12 Oct 2010 20:31:03 +0000

WELL, MAYBE I FUCKING WILL.

Single Girls Can Wear Tampons

celiapleete — Tue, 03 Aug 2010 17:06:44 +0000

…Unless there is a bounty on your maidenhead.

A Rip-Roarin’ Visit.

celiapleete — Tue, 03 Aug 2010 17:02:59 +0000

“Dear Hank and Ethel, Having a swell time here. Lester had a rare t-bone. I et a nice flank steak, was o.k. Coleslaw to die for. Caught glimpse of man who looks uncannily like Cornell Wilde. Can’t wait to tell you all about our trip to Omaha when we get back to sleepy ol’ Cleveland. Say hi to the kids.”

Taxi! Taxidermy?

celiapleete — Wed, 14 Jul 2010 20:01:26 +0000

We thought they were crazy until Winslow and Edna sent us a picture postcard. They had made it, those crazy kids…on a taxidermied elk and donkey, no less – nothing a little believin’ power and a deft hand with the sewin’ needle couldn’t prove.

Actual Excerpts From Today’s Centre County, PA Newspaper.

celiapleete — Mon, 12 Jul 2010 19:35:47 +0000

“Police have apprehended a man suspected in an armed robbery at the Penns Valley Pharmacy. The suspect allegedly held a customer hostage with a butcher knife and demanded OxyContin. The clerk handed over the drug. The suspect fled in a red Jeep Cherokee on Route 45 about 12:30 p.m. and was caught.”

“At about 11:40 p.m. Saturday, Woodson allegedly threw a paper cup and plate filled with horse feces through the window of a marked patrol car on McAllister Alley, striking an officer in the chest.Police say they caught Woodson after a foot chase and that his back, buttocks and hands were covered in horse feces. Police believe Woodson may have fallen into a pile of horse feces, before deciding to throw some at a police officer.”

“A 50-year-old Philipsburg woman is accused of striking a 48-year-old man in the head with a large frying pan. State police say the 48-year-old man, also from Philipsburg, suffered an abrasion on his head.”

“A driver with his sunroof down was struck by a full beer can, thrown from an apartment at 316 W. Beaver Ave., State College. The man suffered a minor neck injury, but police say the injury was mitigated because the can struck part of the roof, before striking the man. Police say the 22-year-old suspect says he was trying to throw the beer can to a friend on a higher floor. Charges are pending, police say.”