Posted by celiapleete in genepool | Comments
"Nobody Here Knows I Was Brought Up In An Asy...
Yes they do, Jerusha. Or “Judy,” as you call yourself.
They’re all laughing about it, too.
Posted by celiapleete in adverts, holidaze, in the closet | Comments
Gifts To Charm A Feminine Heart
Christmas checklist:
Wicker covers (for your unsightly Aqua Net)?
Check.
Note Pads?
Check.
Relaxing bath pillow?
Check.
Gay 90s barber apron?
Double check.
Posted by celiapleete in school days | Comments
A Family Quiz From the American Automobile Associa...
WHY IS PAT A BAD DRIVER?
Pick the correct answer.
1) He isn’t buckled in his seat properly.
2) He’s sitting on the wrong side of the car.
3) His horizon line is not adjusted properly in his rear view window.
4) He is distracted by talking on his shellphone.
5) His fly is open.
Posted by celiapleete in genepool | Comments
Kitchen-Aid Sausage Stuffer: A Mini-Mystery
Ellen Griffith was a loving wife, a devoted mother, the church secretary, PTA president and Betty Crocker Baking Award Recipient of 1958. One day, Ellen’s husband George mysteriously disappeared.
The police chief of Maple Acres (their hometown, pop. 3202) puzzled over the remaining clues behind George’s disappearance. There was the lipstick (“Cherry Tornado,” perhaps?) on his collar, the lingering smell of Estée Lauder Youth Dew and gunpowder on his blazer, and that phone number in the beautiful handwriting.
All circumstantial evidence – after all, George never went away on “business trips,” and the only bar in town didn’t have “those kind of people.” No, George politely ran the local shoe store with his loyal and buxom clerkgirl, Gladys.
The police never found George’s body, but after 6 months the coroner declared him officially dead.
George’s memorial service was beautiful and emotional. Gladys gave the eulogy in a clingy red gown and veil, and Ellen found wealth from George’s life insurance – and not long afterward, a new boyfriend named Glenn.
Some months later, the police chief reflected fondly upon the delicious sausage Ellen had made herself especially for George’s memorial, and wondered what her secret ingredient was.
CommentPosted by celiapleete in adverts, in the closet | Comments
This Ad Is Illegal In 34 States (Not Kentucky)
Posted by celiapleete in in the closet, rippingyarns | Comments
"Madison, Crocheted Chunky."
