Posted by celiapleete in religion | Comments
Panini Of Life: Jesus Pan™
You just got back from Mass, and the priest got you really hungry after all that talk about bread. Not the kind of bread they give you at Mass, which isn’t bread at all but rather a wafer that tastes like styrofoam which you’re supposed to let dissolve on your tongue because the priest said you’re “not really supposed to chew Jesus.”
No, you want a turkey and artichoke panini in a jiffy. But you think that it’s probably a good idea to keep Jesus in mind since it’s still Sunday.
Well, you’re in luck, faithful follower, because now you can SEAR JESUS RIGHT INTO YOUR BREAD, with the one and only Jesus Pan™ . Now you can fill your tummy AND your soul with this “miracle” appliance.
Posted by celiapleete in religion | Comments
Suffer Little Children
Hmm. I never pictured Jesus as a brother with a jheri curl and soul patch; nor did I picture him in a pink daishiki. I guess this is Jesus. I’m pretty sure it is. It’s either Jesus or Rick James, but Rick James would have been surrounded by crack whores, and Jesus liked kids. Apparently he also liked to make pigeons glow, and he liked kids who wore cowboy boots, and he liked kids who looked like Rudy Huxtable and her friend Kenny, and he liked his haloes to reflect on his leopard collar.