The Mad Vortex » Home Cooking

Recipe: Winter Garden Loaf.

celiapleete — Mon, 17 Jan 2011 19:17:19 +0000

Recipe: “Party Pink Buffet.”

celiapleete — Thu, 28 Oct 2010 17:15:00 +0000

It’s a good thing that pink rooms have a calming psychological effect on people, because you’d have to be nuts to make a salad out of chicken and raspberry Jell-o and watermelon balls.

Recipe: Seashell Ice Ring.

celiapleete — Mon, 18 Oct 2010 16:29:45 +0000

Dinner For Seven.

celiapleete — Thu, 14 Oct 2010 18:46:12 +0000

“All done, Mother!” chirped Tracey, as she put the finishing touches on the shish kabobs.

Mother whirled around. Yes, the kabobs looked remarkably edible. Thank god for Tracey’s artistry and ignorance of expiration dates. The real test would come after some heavy smoking on the grill and easy access to the nearest bathroom.

The Quotes Are Ironic

celiapleete — Tue, 12 Oct 2010 20:14:37 +0000

If you want something really good for you, why not boil it down to nothing, encase it in a clear sheath of gelatine, and pretend it’s a pie?

Recipe: Ham Loaf.

celiapleete — Mon, 13 Sep 2010 16:33:52 +0000

Gallery Of Meat That Doesn’t Make Sense.

celiapleete — Thu, 09 Sep 2010 18:15:36 +0000

Fish 2.0: Take real fish and mash it up and put it with gelatine and then re-mould it into a pretend fish with an olive eye. Fancy!

Because this heavily-fat marbled hunk of ham simply isn’t nutritious enough without a hefty slathering of cream cheese!

There is nothing that screams “high class” like a bunch of slices of Dutch loaf floating in a glassy mould of gelatine and hard-boiled egg…as long as it’s plated beautifully with the ‘good’ goblets and radish flowers. Haute cuisine!

Hail Satan!

celiapleete — Sat, 10 Jul 2010 03:11:03 +0000

…Because this crazy skillet shit obviously burst forth from the brimstone bowels of Hell.

Recipe: Pineapple Ham Loaf.

celiapleete — Tue, 15 Jun 2010 17:49:25 +0000

Hunch

celiapleete — Tue, 01 Jun 2010 20:44:01 +0000

Loretta might have had rickets, but she sure knew how to put together a small but ample supply of aperitifs.