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Double Rainbow.

Whoa, that’s a full rainbow waterfall. All the way. Water rainbow. Oh my god. It’s a water rainbow all the way. WHOA. That’s so intense. WHOAAAA MAN. Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! WHOAAAAHO HO HO HOOOOOO! OH MY GOD OH MY GOOOOOD!  OH HOHOHO OH MY GOOOD! WHOO! OHHH HO HOOO WOOOOW! WHOOOOOO! Yeaaaah!  Ohhh ho ho myyyy…..ohhh myyy ahhhh look at that! It’s starting to look like a ROCK rainbow! Oh my god it’s FULL ON! Water and rock rainbow all the way across the waterfall! Ohh myyy god! SOB!  Oh my god! Ohhhh GOD! Sob!

What does this MEAN?

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Anxious.

“I’d f—ing kill for a tranquilizer right now. See here, Butler, fetch me my pill bottle from the powder room.”

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Terrifying Pictures of Female Bodybuilders

When you bite into her femur, you get a mouthful of gristle.

“…and I’m so damn attractive, the veins are going to pop out of my neck. FEEL THE ATTRACTION, BITCHES!”

“My contribution to world peace would be to down a bunch of Muscle Milk bars and squat for three hours a day.”

Which is more terrifying? The muscle mass, or the Aqua Net mullets?

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Secrets and Lies.

Secrets flashed wordlessly between them. The school chastity ball brought forth a night of passion…forbidden by most cultures, yes, but not one without fire and raw lust. Chaperoned by him, seduced in a golf cart afterward. Oh, if only they could repeat that magical night, but all she could say to him was,

“Good morning, Mike…I mean, Mr. Hammond.”

“Good morning, Patti. I trust you did your…homework last night?” He coughed nervously. Mrs. Taylor was in the elevator.

“I did, sir. I did it all night.”

“Good girl.”

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Jumpsuits For Ah Men.

“Baby. We’re set for our sail. Are you ready to head out onto the waters? We’re people who make things happen. It’s choppy and wet out there. We need the protection of these terrycloth jumpsuits. No telling what’s waiting for us in the briny deep. But don’t get upset when I ask you to unzip me, baby. It’s been a long time since I’ve known the touch of a woman.”

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The Love Boat.

They had a little Captain in ‘em.