“Well,” said Sadie with a shrug of her shoulders, “I guess it’s true that misery does love company.”

“Especially when it involves cataract surgery,” replied Derek, in his trademark snarl.

Whoa, that’s a full rainbow waterfall. All the way. Water rainbow. Oh my god. It’s a water rainbow all the way. WHOA. That’s so intense. WHOAAAA MAN. Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! WHOAAAAHO HO HO HOOOOOO! OH MY GOD OH MY GOOOOOD!  OH HOHOHO OH MY GOOOD! WHOO! OHHH HO HOOO WOOOOW! WHOOOOOO! Yeaaaah!  Ohhh ho ho myyyy…..ohhh myyy ahhhh look at that! It’s starting to look like a ROCK rainbow! Oh my god it’s FULL ON! Water and rock rainbow all the way across the waterfall! Ohh myyy god! SOB!  Oh my god! Ohhhh GOD! Sob!

What does this MEAN?

“I’d f—ing kill for a tranquilizer right now. See here, Butler, fetch me my pill bottle from the powder room.”

Meet Norma. She wants a baby. NOW. She’s feeling her biological clock ticking…ticking…ticking, until she can almost feel her innards drying up. Norma would make a great mom, if she can find the right sucker to “accidentally” knock her up after Grey’s some drunken evening during a fit of end-of-episode passion. She knows how to cook and clean, but prefers to not do a whole messload of housework if she can help it, because she has to make sure her babymaker is in tip-top form. She promises to whimper longingly at any stroller she passes on the street, and give you ga-ga eyes if you’ve got a working member, and you’re supposed to get the hint.

Any takers?

I’m not entirely sure where one is to sit for optimum tiny TV viewing, as it seems to be facing away from the seating area…but considering the snowy picture of what appears to be either an Osmond or Burt Reynolds, it’s probably for the best. Perhaps the looming owl is not what he seems.

Yolanda and Reggie were young, happy, in love, and setting off bad superstitious vibes left and right.

“Don’t ever open an umbrella indoors,” warned Grandmama once, “It’s BAD LUCK!”

They scoffed at the old wives’ tale, until Grandmama had the last laugh. Both were electrocuted when Reggie accidentally hit a klieg light and they got zapped.

Troy’s smug face would soon be obliterated when Elmer Fudd decided to use that musket once and for all.

When you bite into her femur, you get a mouthful of gristle.

“…and I’m so damn attractive, the veins are going to pop out of my neck. FEEL THE ATTRACTION, BITCHES!”

“My contribution to world peace would be to down a bunch of Muscle Milk bars and squat for three hours a day.”

Which is more terrifying? The muscle mass, or the Aqua Net mullets?

Leslie came from the wrong side of the tracks. She lived in a dumpy house with her alcoholic father, who couldn’t keep a job. Mom had left years ago. All Leslie had was her job at the local record store and the unrequited love of Carvey, the eccentric cool cat who lived in the trailer next door – and Reid, the rich boy with the heart of gold. Kids at school teased her for her thrift store clothes, her penchant for Echo and the Bunnymen, and her strange speech impediment. But Leslie showed them all during Prom Night ‘86, when she turned her great-aunt’s ratty, piss-stained afghan into the talk of Redmond High.