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Toddlers and Tiaras.
Hours after the “Mommy and Me” Banquet at the Sheraton in Scranton, Mrs. Danvers was found dead, having choked on a chicken bone. Lucinda Danvers was held in custody, clutching a KFC chicken bucket and repeating “I wasn’t good enough in the Smile Category. I wasn’t good enough in the Smile Category.”
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Stand And Deliver
Evelyn took a stroll about Garriton Manourhome, when she got the eerie feeling she was being followed by a dandy highwayman that she was too scared to mention…one who was spending cash on looking flash and grabbing her attention.
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Blade Runner.
“Well, yeah, man, the sawblade, it like, represents how like, sharp my miiiiind is, man? And like, dude, okay, so like a sawblade like, spins, yeah? And like, I spin around too and I cut stuff? Huh huh huh. Liiiike, dude.”
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A Vision Of Importance.
It appeared to her: a vision in white, an ethereal creature floating three feet off the ground, clad in gossamer robes floating around in an invisible breeze. She soon passed out – partially from ecstasy, partially because the bonnet ties had cut off most circulation from her head.
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A Nice Spring Day.
“Sure is a good day for kite flying.”
“Sure is.”
“What are you eating?”
“I’m on a diet. I have to eat only roughage for three weeks.”
“How’s that working out for you?”
“Pretty amazing. My colon’s never been happier.”
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The Magical Bridge.
Johnny found himself stranded on the Bridge of the Witch. She was an evil figure, barefoot, clad in only a crocheted poncho.
“You have three wishes,” she commanded in a booming voice.
“Uh…okay…uh…I wish…”
“Yes?”
“I wish I were the best fisherboy in Anchor Heights.”
“Granted.”
“Uh…I wish…I wish that I could fly at will.”
“Splendid. You can fly at will. And your final wish?”
“A pair of socks and dignity. For the both of us.”
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